Feb 3 2022

Updates… Perhaps I should keep track of my life a little better on here.  I think that is the best plan.  Update tumblr like my diary.  I will never lose it, at least.  Easily accessible on my phone at all times, too.

- I recently switched from full time to part time at work.  I have worked full time in the ICU for 2 years.  I switched to PT to concentrate more on school.  This has been a good switch for me.  I feel less burnt out.  I am able to enjoy being at work because I don’t live there anymore.  And, my parents don’t seem to comment anymore on me picking up shifts.

- I am in my second semester of my master’s program.  My placement is at a remote nursing station.  So far I really enjoy it.  It is a slower pace than I am used to but that allows for more time to learn.

- I have been attending counselling since August to help with depression.  It has helped me immensely.  I talk to a lady name Kirstin and she is amazing.  She helps me see things in a different light.  I also started on a medication.  Side effects were insane for the first little while.  I think I am starting to see the benefits now: improved concentration, a little more outgoing.

- My house is teeming with life.  A new tenant moved in upstairs and she seems to be a really great fit for the others.  A tenant from years ago also moved back in and she seems to need my help: suffered an assault and is struggling.  I think God brought her here for a reason.  We had a house dinner last night and just talked.  It was so nice.  We are all so different.  To come together around a table and share our lives is a gift.

- I have also been reading almost nightly.  So far this year I have read 1984 and A fine balance by Rohinton Mistry.  That book was so good but oh, so sad.  You keep waiting, hoping for something good to happen to these beloved characters and it never does.  Now I am onto Alias Grace by Margaret Atwood.  I haven’t read for pleasure in years.  I had no interest, no motivation, no concentration to even process it.  Now I love it.  Neuroplasticity for the win!!!

- Another thing I have been finding is that I am less fearful.  I was always an anxious person, worrying about worse-case scenarios constantly.  I could barely sleep at times because I feared someone would break into my house.  Those fearful thoughts seem so far removed from me now.  Praise God.  

Let me leave you with some wisdom Kirstin said… “The further I get from the things that matter to me, the less I care about how far away I am.”  Speaks to the cycle of depression.  

Today:

I wrote some of my paper today, made some muffins, ate some curry and I will be going to the gym with my brother before work.